


Amongst The Stars

by Retrodropout



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Coming of Age, Finding your way, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Gay Richie Tozier, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Past Child Abuse, charcters around 19/20
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:41:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22411915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Retrodropout/pseuds/Retrodropout
Summary: When Richie Tozier was 5, he wanted to live amongst the stars.When he was 15, he desperately hoped that they would swallow him whole.When he was 19, he found the whole galaxy.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	Amongst The Stars

**Author's Note:**

> Started thinking of this fic after reading some of Mixtape because I love stories where you focus on one central thing. Ie: Stars, in this case. Anyway go read mixtape cause it inspired me to write this.
> 
> Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/retrodropout
> 
> Spotify Playlist that will be updated with each chapter!: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1t0as4aC8eY8VxrveNgOzi?si=tuG3qNjoQwarXNks17uzVg
> 
> Just know im imagining Bills yearbook photo while writing this

When Richie was 5, he wanted to go to space.

Back when parents cared, when dad kissed him goodnight and mom took weekends off to spend with her pride and joy, planetariums became a second home. Thus came the only logical next step; wanting to live in one. Rooms plastered with his favorite constellations and planets, walls lined with metal paned frames and the excited chatter of newcomers to the world around him. Dad always liked the stars; could spend hours detailing their tiniest points. Head bent over maps of constellations, little Richie Tozier snuggled up next to him as he pointed out another little world. He always used to joke that if he hadn't become a dentist, maybe he'd become an astronaut instead. Then he too could live up there. Richie always loved that thought.

His mom didn't share the same love, but she understood well enough. She would come home from business trips with books filled with all the information he could hope to find and more, spend hours lost in the contents of our solar system, flashlight held tightly with one hand and sheets pulled up with the other, he’d imagine worlds filled with creatures the world had never seen; colonies built from the ground up, planets that they could only wish to visit in person. He remembers how he loved those books, treated them with the utmost care only showing their contents to those closest to him, still only showing what he wished to be shown. As if he could keep the contents on the page for him and him alone; his own personal world. 

They lived in the city then, which he hated. Too noisy with light pollution clouding the air in a constant drabness that smelled of trash and gasoline. Home was safe, and stars filled his dreams. 

When Richie Tozier was 15, he realized more than ever that the stars held a comfort that was no longer present at home. It hadn't been for years. Hadn't been the same since dad started meeting other people and mom became scarce in an attempt to pretend she didn't notice. Nights out in the city he once hated became a safe haven for runaway teens. The stars stayed a constant though, even if he couldn't see them. Knowing they were there was enough and mapped out constellations that he'd recited to memory filled the contents of his mind when the shouting became to much, and when running away just wasn't enough. 

He was a shut in in a city filled with dreams. Thoughts kept to himself and ideas left to come and go as he came to realize that maybe 15 was as good as it was going to get. Grades began to drop as restless mind and body got the better of him, deeming him a problem student to teachers and parents. Even if he did know the answers and did well on the tests, to much movement and not enough working was a problem labeled unacceptable by everyone around him. He really didn't want to think that this was it and didn't want to imagine that life was nothing more then climbing out back doors to the sounds of glasses being thrown and doors being slammed. Didn't want to think that he would look forward to the days when dad would stop lying and when mom would look him in the eyes again. He didn't want to always be the problem child who's potential was crushed just because he couldn't think straight. It couldn't be that way, he thought, but judging by how everyone looked at him nowadays, with disappointment and sadness in their eyes, maybe it was.

That summer, for the first time in his house, they got cable TV. Mom was out of town, other women no longer came around, and with constellations no longer cluttering the walls of his fathers well kept office, another form of entertainment was needed in the Tozier household. The TV started playing travel shows. Shows that showed, albeit not very realistic, the coming and goings of adventurers leaving home to see a world much brighter; using the stars as their guide and living amongst the night. For the first time in years, he felt that spark reignite. Thats when Richie Tozier started believing maybe this wasn't all left of him. Maybe he could be just like them. God, he wanted to be just like them.

He started planning from that day on, a traveled sized notebook shoved between the bed frame and mattress holding crumples bills and maps marked with dollar signs and bus fares. He took notes on his favorite TV shows and visited the library nearly daily, making acquittance with the owners son.

“I'm going to go leave this town,” he would tell the teen nearly everyday, a new book on making your way in the world clutched between shaky fingers. Eyes bright as he recited its contents to the soft smile before him, leaning forward, he would whisper,   
“I'm going to fall in line with the stars.” 

The boy before him would always respond with a confident smile, placing a hand on even shakier shoulders to calm the jittering boy before him.

“I know you will Rich.”

“You cant tell anyone though,” He would repeat every day, tone dead-serious, hands now stilled, “If he found out, if she—”

A hand was placed over his own, gently, causing the teen to look up quickly, 

“Your secret is safe with me.” 

“What if they find out?” He'd question solemnly

“They wont.”

“And if they do?”

A smile would take over his face as he leans back in the old wicker chair, 

“They cant change whats destined to be.”

When Richie Tozier was 17, he packed his bags, stole a 50 from the family rainy day fund, and left home for good. Just like he’d thought of every night. Imagining what it would be like to run away, to leave the city on a bus to the smallest town he could find, somewhere they'd never look and their jeers and fists would be but a distant, sour, memory. Derry Maine as unglamorous as it sounded, was the ticket to what he believed would be a better life. The town held no dreams, but perhaps the simplicity of it was what drew him in.

He woke up early on a morning he knew his mother would be out of town and his father would still be at a home that wasn't his own. He gave one final look at the house before shutting the door and making his final trek to the library.

“Come grab everything before my father shows up,” 

he is quickly told as he was ushered into the library by his only real friend. Richie, seeing the chance of conflict if his father noticed multiple packed bags in his closet, decided to hide his belongings in a place where no one would find them. It just so happened to be the janitors closet in the library, with the only real person keeping him in this town.

“Its nice to know you're so eager to see me on my last day amongst society!” Richie jabbed back at the taller of the two, making his way to the basement of the city library, “Wouldn't want that to go to my head.”

He gathered his bags in silence, handing the heavier ones to the boy beside him, before closing the door and heading towards the stairs.

“Rich.”

His face was soft, a sad yet hopeful smile crossing his features, 

“You always are talking about those old books your mom gave you,” Richie nodded, showing he was listening as the boy before him pulled a tattered leather bound book from his jacket, 

“Thought maybe you'd like another one before you hit the road. It was my grandfathers so you have to—”

The boy was cut off abruptly as Richie pulled the other into a short hug, pulling back as quickly as it started, handling the book with anxious hands, “You sure are making it hard for a boy to leave.”

“Go,” he laughed, giving him a soft push on the back, “The stars are waiting for you.” 

———

At 19, Richie Tozier sat stooped outside the rundown apartment, cigarette laced between idle fingers, cold winter breeze freezing him to the bone. A final drag comes between parted lips as the lanky teen stubbed the remaining tar out with his shoe. He stands up taking one final deep breath into the night before turning into the building behind him.

He wonders if he were to come home now if they would hold their arms open and lead him to a room still full of such joy, posters still in place and comic books lining every beige toned wall. If his mom would pull him into a hug and tell him shes glad hes home. If maybe he would no longer dream about living in the vastness of space because he had found something much, much better.

Perhaps, with the softball sized holes in the ceiling of his home and the now prominent appearance of galaxy around him, it was not worth it to live amongst the stars.


End file.
